Blogging. Hmmmm ... I'm one of those who prefers reading over being read.
I don't mind blogging in the anonymous corporate voice, peppering others' blogs with occasional comments, engaging in forum discussions, all that jazz ... but keeping a public journal? The idea makes me a little twitchy.
I am intrigued by the brazen ways that people share their views in blogs. I use the term brazen because I assume that there is greater honesty in blogging than in the anonymous comments we've all seen posted after news stories, opinion pieces, and the like. Which is sort of an odd assumption: why would people be more honest in a blog than they would in an anonymous comment? I guess - because at least some of their readership know them outside of cyberspace. Because they will wish to construct themselves more honestly, and with a greater eye to consistency, than they might in an off-hand anonymous comment. Well, I would.
Meet WorkPerson-A - workpersona. I am interested in the construction and reconstruction of identity and personas. I had sort of forgotten how interested I am, in how we construct our social and personal selves, how these selves meld, how we are always becoming, and how the act of writing helps us to know ourselves in new ways. Hello, me.
I'm one of those who prefers reading over being read. I am hesitant to share my whole self, but admire those who do so with great ease, and crave outlets for such honesty. I find myself less willing to wear the ill-fitting personas. There is an opportunity before me, in this blogging assignment. I think of my husband and the mantra of 'authenticity' that reverberates around his workplace walls these days, leading to circle sessions and the disclosure of some highly personal past and present events from certain colleagues. These disclosures have led to new closeness in some cases, greater distance in others ... Maybe we needn't go that far.
What drives it, this cry for authenticity? A yen for being truthful in a world of increasing social distance, connected though we are. Instant messaging is less instant than just
saying something - far more room for editing when it comes to the Facebook update or even the humble text message. Blogging can be like this too - I've edited this post to within an inch of its life. Is it less authentic? A constructed me is still me. In our work worlds, that yen for honesty abuts fears about judgment, tied to deeper fears about our capacity to provide for the basic means of life ...
As with pen and paper, the act of writing, somewhat automatically, has led me to learn something about myself. Or be reminded of who I know myself to be. Or both - in some small way, to synthesize new and old me's. Maybe this blogging assignment has something to teach me after all. Maybe I
like public journaling.
